ExpectingWords.com - Helping expecting couples find the right words at the right times

When I discovered the blog www.AtYourCervix.blogspot.com I was shocked, to say the least. A courageous Labor and Delivery Registered Nurse (who remains anonymous) blogs about what goes on behind closed doors at the maternity ward in the hospital where she works. AtYourCervix is a smart and savvy lady with more than eight years of experience in Obstetrical Nursing. She currently works in a teaching hospital in Pennsylvania where over 4000 babies are born annually. With a commitment to service and a voice of compassion for mothers, she shares her insights with us in today’s guest post. Thank you AtYourCervix, for your words of wisdom. Continue reading »

Maybe I’m old fashioned, but aren’t parents supposed to set the rules in their house?  In the Sunday Styles section of The New York Times, Jan Hoffman wrote the article “Masculinity in a Spray Can” about the use of body wash, face wash, exfoliator, hair gel, body hydrator, body spray, deodorant and shaving cream by 10 to 14-year old boys who say they feel more confident and attractive when they wear the products.  The article pointed to one desperate mother who keeps the windows open in her car when she drives her sons to school because of the overwhelming smell of the products they use.  I was not impressed.  She’s driving them to school!  That’s a gift of her time and money.  Can’t she set the rules about the use of unnecessary body products so she’s not held victim in her own car?

Companies like AXE say they market body products to 18-24 year olds, but those ads appeal to children who want to be more attractive, and more adult-like.  In our over-sexualized culture, I think it’s the parents’ job to demand that kids act like kids. Continue reading »

When we pick a child’s name, parents-to-be consider many factors from potential namesakes to a name’s popularity.  We think about how the first name will sound with the last name and what nicknames might ensue: Emerson = Emmy, Abigail = Abby, Jacob =Jake.

But should we also think about the first impression the name will create?  One study showed that children with desirable names (Karen, Lisa, David, and Michael) received higher grades than children with undesirable names (Bertha, Adelle, Hubert, and Elmer) when near- identical papers were submitted to the same teachers for grading.

In Freakonomics, authors Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner discuss the impact of a child’s first name, particularly a distinctively black name.  Read an excerpt here on slate.com.  They found that children with distinctively black names fare worse in life, but it’s not because of their names.  It’s because of the poorer economic circumstances in which children with distinctively black names tend to grow up in.

So which is it?     Continue reading »

Last Friday night my husband and I were out on a date night.  We went for drinks at a nearby bar after dinner.  It was a nice evening, until we encountered a child – a little girl, in the lounge at the bar, with her dad.  Given, it was only 8pm, but still, a toddler at a classy bar that does not serve food on a Friday night?

And this was no saintly child.  She was running around blowing out all the candles (quite a metaphor for killing the romance), collecting seat cushions, climbing bar stools, pouring water into the candle holders, and then drinking from them.  One of the bartenders ran to clean up her new mess every few minutes. “A terror,” I heard the bartender mumble to the other bartender.

The terror’s dad watched.  The few times he tried to stop her she would kick and scream.

After observing this nonsense for 15 minutes I went over to ask the dad how old she was because she seemed so unmanageable (I said this in as nice a tone as possible).  She’ll be three in April, he said.  Then he admitted with a guilty look, yes, she is unmanageable and this isn’t even her at her worst.  She’s bossy and demanding all the time.

Then this father said one of the strangest things I’ve ever heard:  Continue reading »

In yesterday’s Sunday Styles section of the New York Times, Tara Parker-Pope wrote an article called “She Works.  They’re Happy.” about a new study from the Pew Research Center showing that divorce rates are lower and couples are happier when… get this… the wife is the primary breadwinner and the husband does a fair share of the child care and housework.  While it’s been traditionally thought that female economic independence is a leading cause of divorce, this research turns that idea on its head.

“Wives are now the primary breadwinner in 22 percent of couples, up from 7 percent in 1970.”

“Over all, the evidence shows that the shifts within marriages — men taking on more housework and women earning more outside the home — have had a positive effect, contributing to lower divorce rates and happier unions.”

And this increased happiness occurs even when the husband does less than 50% of the housework and childcare.  As long as it’s more than older generations of men did, she’s somewhat pleased.       Continue reading »