ExpectingWords.com - Helping expecting couples find the right words at the right times

What really goes on behind the bedroom doors? I interviewed 12 women from around the country and found out that lies and more lies rest between those satin sheets. Let’s just say that names have been changed to protect the guilty.

“I went to the doctor six weeks after I gave birth and he told me it was okay for me to start having sex again. Yeah right!” said Sarah from New York in response to her doctor’s suggestion. “I was exhausted and my boobs were for one person only – the baby. When I got home I might have twisted the truth just a bit. I told my husband that the doctor said I had to wait two more months.”

Jodi from Los Angeles shared, “A couple months after I had a C-section, we had sex again,” “Five months later, I’m still rarely in the mood, but I pretend I am because he does things for me that he doesn’t really want to do. It’s only fair. Plus, sex puts him in a better mood, which makes both of our lives better. Sometimes I’ll even initiate sex in the morning knowing it will lead to us having a good day together. Sometimes I get the sense that If I don’t have sex with him he feels like I don’t love him.” (more…)

It will probably happen. Our hormones are raging and so are our moods. Up and down, on and off, it’s enough to drive us and our husbands crazy, such as the time a pregnant lady asked her hubby to stop by Dairy Queen to pick her up a vanilla ice cream, he comes back with chocolate, she freaks out and he locks himself in the bedroom because he can’t take it anymore.

Annie Benjamin, mom of seven-month Caroline, says there is definitely truth to pregnancy insanity. She went berserk, slamming her fist into a couch pillow when her viewing of “Legally Blonde 2″ was cut short when the cable box shut off. (more…)

Diamonds are forever, and so is a name.
How do you pick the right name for your baby? It’s so much pressure! What if your baby hates his name when he’s seven? What about giving him a namesake? Is it better to give your baby a popular name, an uncommon name or should you take inspiration from celebrities and name your child Bronx or Apple? And most of all, what if you and your partner can’t agree on a name?

My spouse wants a popular name and I don’t.
Before you get into that debate, know this: there is no such thing as a name that is too popular. Back in 1977 the most popular names were Jennifer and Michael, each one was given to about 4% (together 8%) of all babies born that year. In 2007 the most popular names were Emily and Jacob, each one given to about 1% of babies born that year, that’s 1 out of 100. If there are 25 kids in your child’s class, it’s most likely that no one will have his or her name. We can thank our cultural creativity for inventing so many new names that no one name is common anymore. So if your partner wants a name that’s in the top 20 for 2008, don’t ignore the suggestion, realize that no name is too popular anymore. (more…)

My friend Lena had a plan. An advertising executive at age 32, she was going back to work after her baby was born. She and her husband jointly made enough to rent a 2-bedroom apartment in Manhattan as they saved money to buy a house in the suburbs. She figured that if she could hold onto this job for 3 or 4 more years, they could buy their dream house. But, things didn’t turn out that way. Three months after her baby was born, when Lena went back to work, she found herself distraught with guilt over not being with her daughter. The work that was once so important to her now felt like a chore that prevented her from being with her family. Lena decided to quit her job and her family moved to a less expensive apartment in the suburbs so she could be at home with her daughter.

Consider yourself lucky if you are like Lena and have the ability to choose whether or not to go back to work. According to the U.S. census report a little over half of American women with a child under 1 were in the U.S. labor force in 2002. Most women have to work because of financial needs, and they have to return to work rather quickly. There are state by state laws, but at the federal level, which is the national minimum, the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 (FMLA) mandates up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave for childbearing or family care over a 12-month period for eligible employees.

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In the beginning of my pregnancy my husband was surprised when I complained about feeling exhausted. “But you had nine hours of sleep last night,” he responded. He thought that a warm bath and silly half-hour sitcom would make me feel better. I knew it wouldn’t. When I said “exhausted” I meant that my head suddenly felt like it weighed 100 pounds and my arms felt like bricks. If I didn’t hit the bed in the next couple of minutes, I would simply fall to the floor and happily take a long nap in the hallway.

Now, to be fair, my husband was having a normal response to the situation. It’s nearly impossible to know what pregnancy tiredness is, unless you’ve been pregnant. I remember the aura of tiredness attacking me one day at 4pm when I was working at home. Forced into bed by the tiredness devil, by 5pm I was really thirsty. Instead of rising from bed to get a drink, I picked up the phone resting on the night table (requiring only a half-turn of my body) to call my husband to ask him when he’d be home. “In about an hour,” he said and I chose to remain in bed dry-mouthed until he got home to get me a drink of water.

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