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In the Sunday Styles section of The New York Times, Alex Williams recently wrote in his article, “Becoming the Alpha Dog in Your Own Home”, about how some parents have begun to apply the lessons from the television show The Dog Whisperer to disciplining their children. Cesar Millan, otherwise known as the Dog Whisperer teaches the “alpha dog” owner-in-charge theory: set clear boundaries and hierarchies in the home. No negotiating or persuading, just simple well-meaning rules strictly enforced is what’s needed to bring peace and discipline to your dog, or perhaps your child.

Without intending to, I gave this alpha dog trick a try, on my one and a half year old son Blake. He fell and injured his mouth last week. The cuts would heal fine, but the doctor indicated that Blake should not put anything other than soft food in his mouth for two days. A hard food or object would risk re-opening the wound.

My son loves to put things in his mouth. It’s practically his favorite habit. Pick up an object, feel it, taste it and on to the next one. In the past I had told him “take that toy out of your mouth,” “we don’t eat phones, we eat food,” “don’t put your mouth on the air conditioning unit,” “get away from the shoes!” Blake would smile and think we were playing a game. (more…)

“No, you cannot come in late,” is what my one year old “boss” would say if he understood the question.

“But please son, it’s the weekend.  I’m not asking for much, just an extra half hour.  6:30 wake up instead of 6am.  Can you do that for me?”

“No, I will not.  And I might even wake up at 5:30am if I feel like it.  This is the job you signed up for.  Now deal with it.”

And so I do.  And so does my husband.  There are so many amazing things about having a child.  We love it, don’t get me wrong.  But sleeping past 6?  I miss it.  Only about 10% of kids are early birds and we have one of them.

So what does my situation have to do with the 90% of you who do not or will not suffer from early bird mornings?  (more…)

I had my annual physical a couple days ago with a new doctor. She said I was healthy, but that’s not all. She asked me about my plans for more children (I already have a one and a half year old). “Are going to have more kids? Are you trying now? When are you going to try again?” she wanted to know.

And I answered her questions because she is after all a doctor (though she’s an internist, not my OB-GYN). But since she already knows certain things about me that no one else does, what would be the big deal about sharing something else so personal? So I basically I told her we would try again, but not just yet.

She did not like my answer. “Why not now? You shouldn’t wait. You don’t know what could happen. And, if you space your kids too far apart it’s so much harder to get back into caring for a newborn.” “Well, we have our reasons,” I defended.

She came back more adamantly, “There’s always a reason, always an excuse. It’s never going to be the perfect time.”

Seriously? (more…)

You know those conversations that make you itchy. When you’re pregnant you receive unwanted or rude advice, when it’s publicly known that you’re trying to conceive, you get suggestions to stop trying to so hard, to relax and take a vacation (like how are you supposed to do that when you have to work?) and when you’re a parent, other parents are out there judging your choices.

But what if someone really does want to help a friend or relative who’s struggling with infertility, pregnancy or parenting? Is there any way a well-wisher can offer advice without seeming critical and offensive?

In response to my blog post Behind Closed Doors: Trying to Conceive, one woman who had decided not to have any children, commented that as a stepmom, she watches her stepdaughters struggle with infertility. She wrote, “I know most of you are going to hate to hear me say this but I honestly believe stressing out about it and ‘trying too hard’ really does make it harder… I know [people] who had been trying for years and then gave up and as soon as they ’stopped trying’ because they were going to start the adoption process or even adopted a child then suddenly became pregnant.” (more…)

This week, the Maclaren stroller company recalled one million strollers because of a faulty hinge. The company had reports of 15 children injuring themselves when their fingers were placed in the hinge during the opening or closing of the stroller. Twelve of those children suffered fingertip amputation. Since the recall is for strollers sold over the last 10 years, it would appear that on average there were one or two reported injuries per year.

Commentary on the web (including many of those who commented on the Motherlode blog post about the recall) shows many skeptics asking, should the product be recalled for such a low level of injuries? Why weren’t the parents watching their children to make sure they were away from the hinge when it was being used? Is it the company’s fault or the parents’? Is the United States culture recall obsessed? Are we getting all worked up about nothing?

Not in my opinion. (more…)