ExpectingWords.com - Helping expecting couples find the right words at the right times

Most people think about the New Year as a good time to lose weight, exercise more often or stop smoking.  But when one is pregnant, the New Year means something entirely different.  We stop dwelling on our appearance and start thinking about who we are, our purpose in life and what values and lessons we can share with our baby-to-be.

Taken from my journal during the time that I was expecting, here are my six New Year’s resolutions for becoming a better person, a better parent and a better partner:

1) Give Grandparent Goodness.
Pay more attention to the soon-to-be grandparents.  Cherish them for all that they give to us and for all the ways they care about us.  Call them more often.  Recognize that we are going to need them much more than we had ever imagined.

2) Be Happily Married.
Fight less with my spouse.  Once a baby enters the family, there is so much more to bicker about, so put on my mediator’s hat now and learn to fight less and compromise more before a little one is around to listen to our arguments.  (For tips on how to stop bickering with your spouse read my article on Web MD.) (more…)

Mom fights, gets the delivery she wants was the headline on CNN.com just a few days ago. I was disheartened to read about Joy Szabo’s dilemma. She changed her doctor and hospital just three weeks before her due date because the hospital refused to allow her to have a vaginal birth after having had a prior C-section (a VBAC). The VBAC runs a slightly higher risk of complications, but is commonly done across the country by trained physicians.

Joy did get the vaginal birth she wanted in the end, but they had to move six hours away from Page, Arizona to Phoenix to give birth at a hospital that permits VBACs.

This article got me thinking about how Joy discovered this no-VBAC policy seven months into her pregnancy.  I’m surprised she didn’t ask about this when picking her doctor for this pregnancy.

But, even if she didn’t ask, isn’t this the kind of information that an OB-GYN should be required to share with his or her patients who’ve had a prior caesarian?

When a hospital has a policy against VBACs, shouldn’t that be in their literature and promotional material for their maternity ward?  (more…)

The holidays can be loaded, don’t you think? Originally posted on Babycenter.com’s Momformation blog on December 16. Here’s my take on holiday guilt:

The holiday season is supposed to be about appreciating family, and yet this season often leads to family feuds, guilt, and lasting resentment.

It all begins with the annual question, “Where should we go for the holidays? Should we go to my parents’ house, my in-laws’, sister’s, my brother-in-law, or stay at our house? Can my children handle a long car trip or a plane ride? Can we afford it? Do we want guests at your house?”

All of those questions are important, but none touch on what seems to me to be the hidden underlying factor:  What choice (more…)

I asked my twitter buddies “what’s your biggest pregnancy pain?”  Turns out I wasn’t alone in the pet peeve department. Here are the five pains that topped the list (I had three of them):

1) Nighttime trips to the bathroom

It makes sense that one would have to pee a lot more in the third trimester with all our organs squeezed into a small space. But peeing five times a night in the first trimester when the embryo is pea-sized? What’s that all about? Turns out that the amount of blood in our body increases dramatically when we get pregnant, causing our body to process more fluid and well… let more of it out.

2) Sciatic pain, otherwise known as “Oh, sh-t, I can’t move my leg!”

I was in the bathtub when it came on in the second trimester. I had to scream for my husband to help me out of the tub. I literally could not move on my own. For two days afterward I had to lift my right leg with my hands because I couldn’t let my right leg muscles move on their own without suffering intense, sharp pain. Thankfully that pain subsided with a week or two, though it can last longer for others. The pain results when the sciatic nerve, which runs from under the uterus to the legs, becomes inflamed from pressure or injury. Here are some tips to combat the pain. (more…)

Kim Kardashian is not the only pregnant famous lady. You are too.

All of us become celebrities when we get pregnant. Expect it. You receive a huge amount of attention at the time of the pregnancy announcement, some glowing compliments and congratulations, and occasional unwanted advice about how to lose the baby weight (which is sort of like the kind of rude advice a tabloid might print).

Then when you have the baby, wow will you get attention: calls, e-mails, texts, even hospital visits from people you wouldn’t even want to have lunch with. And then the celebrity lifestyle ends once you’re back at home for a couple weeks. It’s a return to life as usual, for everyone but you and your partner.

Since your celebrity lifestyle is limited to a short period of time, I say, take advantage of it with four ways to use, but not abuse, your pregnancy fame.

1) Enjoy being a celebrity, but don’t rub it in. (more…)