ExpectingWords.com - Helping expecting couples find the right words at the right times

Yes, if you consider the loss of your former life as reason for depression.

In the Mind column in The New York Times, author Richard A. Friedman presented the idea of fathers getting postpartum depression as something odd and unexpected by doctors.

Really?  I would have thought dads could get postpartum depression, simply because having a baby is such an enormous life-changing event with unpredictable results.  It must rise to the level of a traumatic event for some dads.  I mean, I’m a mom and sometimes I’m traumatized by my own child.

If depression could be triggered by losing one’s job, ending a marriage, losing a loved one, going into bankruptcy, or simply getting bogged down and lost in the mundane activities of life, then of course a chaos machine like a new baby could be such a trigger.

Most moms and dads I know went through some form of mourning period for their old life when the first baby arrived: those spontaneous dinners out, the quiet time on the couch, uninterrupted time to read a book, sleeping in, late nights with friends, were all mainly… gone.   (more…)

On December 3, I had the privilege of participating in It’s Time to Talk Day, an event in New York City sponsored by Liz Claiborne, Inc. and partners to encourage public dialogue about domestic violence and teen dating abuse.  I interviewed a handful of talented people that day (I will blog about those interviews later), but today, I want to share my surprisingly candid interview with Tim Gunn from Project Runway, who is the Chief Creative Officer of Liz Claiborne.

You rose to fame as the charming mentor to the designers on the reality television program Project Runway. Then you created your own TV show, Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style. Where did the idea for your TV show come from?

My TV show Guide to Style came from my book A Guide to Quality, Taste and Style. Abrams imprint had asked me to write a makeover/self-help book and I didn’t want to do it.  So many fashion books and shows preach about the right and wrong pants and such.  You see people being dressed by stylists and then they leave, now what?  I’d rather help someone who thinks she is in a fashion rut and needs help getting unstuck.  I don’t care how people dress, as long as they accept responsibility for it (unless someone is bearing midriff on a city street).  I can’t shop for someone.  I will shop with, not for.  People ask me if I want to do follow up visits with the guests on my show to see if they stuck with the change.  I tell them, “no” because I don’t care if they stuck with it.  It’s their choice, their freedom. (more…)

Yes, Tiger Woods Cheated, on his Pregnant Wife

With all the attention on Tiger’s indiscretions, one aspect of his wrongdoing hasn’t received much attention.  He has two kids: a two year old and a nine month old.  His affair with Jaime Grubbs lasted 31 months.  This means Tiger cheated before, during and after his wife’s second pregnancy.  Cheating on a pregnant woman is the worst, don’t you think?

A Holiday Miracle

Elaine and David Kaempf thought they’d have to use in vitro, again, or adopt.  Little did they know they had already won the fertility lottery.  Elaine was unknowingly pregnant with identical triplet girls, which has nearly a 1 in 200 million chance of happening.   From infertility to triplets—that’s a real miracle.
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In Babytalk magazine’s Dec./Jan. issue, Senior Editor Shawn Bean wrote an open letter to all moms asking, “Why do some guys fail at post-baby romance?”

He’s confused by the excuses he’s heard to avoid sex: “Now now.  I have to clean the vacuum.”  He knows men are supposed to initiate foreplay, but writes “we’ve heard foreplay for a woman starts the day before, but you weren’t home Thursday.  Should we have started without you?”

He’s happy to wait until his wife heals from delivering the baby, but what happens when that day arrives, and still no sex?  Bean is right, this is the time for real talk, not just letting things go.  In Sex Talk: Post-Pregnancy I wrote about how many women lie to avoid post-baby sex.

Telling the truth is a crucial first step to rebuilding your sex life, but for some couples, honesty is not enough. (more…)