ExpectingWords.com - Helping expecting couples find the right words at the right times

In the last year, while writing this blog, I’ve also been penning the manuscript for my next relationship advice book, “Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship without Blowing Up or Giving In,” which will be published by Rodale on October 12, 2010.  Not surprisingly, while writing the manuscript, I had my own relationship ups and downs and I share some of  them in the book.  One of our funny-in-retrospect-only stories is about take-out and I thought I’d share it with you today.

To be fair, my marriage was in pretty good shape when we had the “take-out” incident.  My husband and I are a great team, but at times (like all couples) we are no match for the demands of our toddler son.  Stress from a little one can wear down anyone’s patience and test any marriage’s mettle.

Several months ago, I had a tiring day of work, and my husband had his usual high-pressure day as an equities trader.  The evening arrived and we fell into our typical routine.   Our son was on the verge of walking and he was trying to climb everything in sight.  One of us, therefore, needed to pay very close attention to him at all times to make sure he was safe.  As usual, it was me who ended up being on surveillance duty.  My husband was nearby, but somehow I was the one “in charge.”  (more…)

That’s the question people are asking after “Biggest Loser” star and personal trainer Jillian Michaels told a Women’s Health reporter that she never wants to be pregnant. “I’m going to adopt. I can’t handle doing that to my body,” she told the magazine.  Hearing a fitness expert make such a statement shocked a lot of people.

While Huffington Post and other news outlets reported her as saying that she won’t “ruin her body” with pregnancy, writer and natural health consultant Juniper Russo Tarascio took personal offense to Jillian’s comment: (more…)

In The Huffington Post this week, Dr. Ellen Libby, author of The Favorite Child, asked, are you the “favorite” parent in your household? She explained that it’s normal for parents to want to be favored by their children and offered examples of parents who consciously or unconsciously try to be the “good guy” to win their children’s favoritism.

Well, that’s one way to look at the favoritism issue.  Personally, I want nothing more than for our son to like us equally.  There was a period of time, about age 9 months to 12 months, that Blake favored me, to an extreme.  And the truth is that I didn’t like it.  He wanted mommy to hug him, mommy to play with him, mommy to change him, etc.  Not only was the mommy phase incredibly exhausting, it was also a major disappointment for my husband who loves our son as much as I do. (more…)

When I started writing Expecting Words about one year ago, I thought the blog would focus on pregnancy and new parenthood: the do’s and don’ts, the ups and downs and the relationship pitfalls induced by pregnancy and parenthood.  But as I read through the most-popular posts of this last year, I was surprised to discover that this blog is actually about something much bigger – CONFIDENCE!

Nearly every blog post from Hey Mean Moms, Zip It! to Breastfeeding is a Man’s Job Too seems to raise the same underlying theme: be confident; ask for what you want; believe in yourself!

There is a purpose to this blog.  I am sharing my personal stories and insights, my relationship highlights and disasters in an effort to help myself and others build the internal strength one needs to be confident as both a parent and a partner.  Why does this matter?  Because confident parents help to create confident children.  With clarity of vision, parents can make decisions based on their values, not on what other people think. Moreover, confident spouses and partners have the courage to speak up and negotiate challenges together so that love can survive and thrive as the family grows.

A confident attitude can (more…)

Last night, we hit a turning point in our family.  My husband was sitting on a comfortable reading chair in our bedroom.  Blake wanted to sit on the chair.  Here’s a snippet of the conversation, if you could call it that.

Toddler: “Off!” said Blake, as he pulled on Daddy’s leg.

Daddy: “No, Blake.  Daddy is sitting on the chair.”

Toddler: “Daddy, off, off off!”

Daddy: “Daddy is sitting on the chair right now Blake.  But, Blake can share the chair with Daddy.  Do you want to sit next to me?”

Toddler: “Daaaaady, off!” he yelled as he plopped himself on the ground in desperation.

Daddy: “Blake, that’s mean.  Don’t yell at Daddy.  Do you want to share the chair Blake?  See there is room here.”

Toddler: “Mommy, get Daddy off!!!!” (So now he thinks I’ll help him, clever boy).

Mommy: “Daddy is allowed to sit on the chair.  I can’t get him off.  You can sit on it later, when Daddy is done.”

And the repetitive conversation continued.  (more…)