ExpectingWords.com - Helping expecting couples find the right words at the right times

We live in a culture of breastfeeding. Sixty to 70 percent of new moms today breastfeed and an additional group of women try it and switch to formula.

Since the decision to at least attempt breastfeeding is most common today, expectant mothers rarely discuss it with their partners during pregnancy. As such, most of us remain in the dark about the significant commitments breastfeeding entails until after the baby arrives.

Until I had my baby, I had no idea how hard it was to breastfeed. I soon found out that the decision to breastfeed meant committing eight to ten hours a day to nursing while sleeping in two to four hour increments. Additionally, I found it painful and frustrating as well as exhausting, leading me to switch to pumping after a few weeks. Of course, every woman’s experience is different. Samantha, a mom of 3 from Ohio, said “Once I got the hang of breastfeeding, I learned to appreciate it. I didn’t have to wash bottles and it was a chance to sit down.” Overall, she had such a positive experience, she’s preparing to do it again with baby number four due today.

No matter where you fall on the spectrum, breastfeeding and/or pumping will be demanding and you need your man there supporting you through the thick and thin of it.

That’s why it’s best for a couple to talk about the support the man can and should give before it’s needed. Make sure that both of you are on the same page about the tremendous commitment of time and energy that comes along with breastfeeding.

Ask each other the question: What does it mean for a man to support a woman who is breastfeeding? Providing emotional support is important, but that’s not all. The dad-to-be also needs to offer support by taking on other responsibilities for the baby and household. I’m not talking about dividing tasks equally, I mean dividing them fairly and with respect for the effort it takes to do each task.

At a minimum, the dad-to-be should insist on doing such tasks as cleaning the pile of dishes in the sink or going to the supermarket, as well as changing, burping and dressing the baby or taking him out for a stroll. If the mother decides to pump, then her partner can make her life easier by doing a night feeding. It’s important for expectant parents to outline these tasks in advance to prevent conflicts later on.

I can’t tell you exactly what balance of tasks will work for your and your partner, but I do know that for you to breastfeed successfully, a woman needs support. She needs her man.

The editors of BabyCenter Magazine provide a collection of breastfeeding advice from veterans in their article, “What I Wish I’d Known About Breastfeeding“. Here’s a good tip from that article to keep your relationship healthy,

“Don’t skimp when choosing a breast pump – a good one is worth its weight in gold. Learn to use it ASAP. Having the freedom to leave the baby with a trusted friend or relative and take time out with your partner can really keep the baby blues away.”

For more tips on maintaining a healthy relationship, read my previous post, “Is Your Relationship Built to Last?”

One last word of advice, discuss all of the options before concluding that you are both ready to meet the challenge of breastfeeding.

Veteran Moms, do you have any words of wisdom to offer our Moms-to-Be?

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 21st, 2009 at 11:05 am and is filed under Baby Prep, Balance & Fairness, Emotional Support, Roles & Responsibilities. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response.