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Yes, if you consider the loss of your former life as reason for depression.

In the Mind column in The New York Times, author Richard A. Friedman presented the idea of fathers getting postpartum depression as something odd and unexpected by doctors.

Really?  I would have thought dads could get postpartum depression, simply because having a baby is such an enormous life-changing event with unpredictable results.  It must rise to the level of a traumatic event for some dads.  I mean, I’m a mom and sometimes I’m traumatized by my own child.

If depression could be triggered by losing one’s job, ending a marriage, losing a loved one, going into bankruptcy, or simply getting bogged down and lost in the mundane activities of life, then of course a chaos machine like a new baby could be such a trigger.

Most moms and dads I know went through some form of mourning period for their old life when the first baby arrived: those spontaneous dinners out, the quiet time on the couch, uninterrupted time to read a book, sleeping in, late nights with friends, were all mainly… gone.  Hugh Weber, new father and founder of the website www.dudetodad.com, guest blogged for us about how his life has changed and what he wishes he knew before the baby came.  Meanwhile, Vicki Glembocki guest blogged for us about the top 5 things she wishes someone had told her before she had a baby. No one is spared the trauma of a changed life.

No matter how much I thought I was ready for the change that comes with moving from pregnancy to parenthood, it still hit me like a tons of bricks in the months after bringing our baby home.  I had way too many expectations that weren’t met.  Now I see that the best state of mind would have been to simply have no expectations at all.

A parent’s plans are no match for the first few months of a baby’s life.

Thankfully, by the time the period of mourning for my old life ended, I had a new life with a new routine I enjoyed with family dinners, strolls, playtime in the living room, weekends with grandparents, playdates with my friends and their kids, date nights with my husband and more.

My appreciation for my life soon surpassed my feelings of loss over my old life.  In fact, I began to see so much more to love in my husband as a doting father to our son.  As a parent I began to understand the sacrifice my parents made for me and I am more grateful to them now than I have ever been.   Change is hard, no doubt.  But it is good.  So good.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 8th, 2009 at 5:26 pm and is filed under Emotional Support. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response.