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In yesterday’s Sunday Styles section of the New York Times, Tara Parker-Pope wrote an article called “She Works.  They’re Happy.” about a new study from the Pew Research Center showing that divorce rates are lower and couples are happier when… get this… the wife is the primary breadwinner and the husband does a fair share of the child care and housework.  While it’s been traditionally thought that female economic independence is a leading cause of divorce, this research turns that idea on its head.

“Wives are now the primary breadwinner in 22 percent of couples, up from 7 percent in 1970.”

“Over all, the evidence shows that the shifts within marriages — men taking on more housework and women earning more outside the home — have had a positive effect, contributing to lower divorce rates and happier unions.”

And this increased happiness occurs even when the husband does less than 50% of the housework and childcare.  As long as it’s more than older generations of men did, she’s somewhat pleased.       (more…)

It’s been called the man-cession, the he-cession and the manly recession. No matter what we call it, the truth is that men are losing more jobs than women. Of the 6.4 million jobs eliminated since December 2007, men have lost 74% of them. CBS News reported that in 40% of households, women say they are the primary breadwinners. The facts are daunting, and the consequences affect families tremendously.

Will more dads stay-at-home to care for the children?

Jeremy Adam Smith, author of The Daddy Shift: How Stay-at-Home Dads, Breadwinning Moms, and Shared Parenting Are Transforming the American Family, argues that stay-at-home dads are an advance in American family life and that the growing number of such dads is a result of the last 50 years of change, though the trend may have been accelerated by the current economic climate. He points out that while moms may have a stronger initial connection to their newborns because of the pregnancy, Dads can build their connection by taking care of the child. And it seems that many fathers choose to do this.

At-home dads, and daddy blogs, are increasing in numbers every day. (more…)

Is there something about having a child that makes a woman feel like she’s superior to others? That’s what you might think considering how often moms judge other moms for making “bad” decisions. Now I’m not talking about dangerous decisions, just ones that someone might not agree with, like deciding not to breastfeed, or to put your child in day care, or to have a child when you’re “too young” or “too old,” to let your child watch television, to enroll her in too many activities or too few, or to work full-time or part-time, or to exercise too little or too much during pregnancy. You name it and there are plenty of moms out there willing to shame you for it.

What’s got me started on this topic? A woman named Donna commented on my blog post “The Top 5 Rude Comments Pregnant Women Field.” She wrote, “I’m finding a lot of hostility toward a planned c-section. Maybe I’m just defensive, but people seem to give me the third degree about why I’m doing it and telling me that vaginal birth isn’t that bad. And frankly, I don’t want to share all my medical issues with them and debate what my doctors and I have decided is healthiest for both me and the baby.”

Even before that comment saddened me, I had read another one from Jane, over at (more…)

I’m not saying that all men need training, but if you read Tarzan’s guest post “MAN UP!” and printed out a copy for your partner to read, then you might appreciate this list of what I call “teachable moments for fathers-to-be and new dads.” Yes, your guy should want to help, but what if he doesn’t? That’s when you have to take the next step. You’ve got to teach him and then give him some room for error. Keep in mind that if you give your man a fish he will eat for a day, but if you teach your man to fish both of you will eat for a lifetime.

5 Teachable Moments for Fathers-to-be and New Dads

1) Teach the Grocery Shopping Slacker 
“I asked for ripe bananas! These are green and hard as a rock!” Sound like something you might say? If your mate is a slacker at the supermarket, take him on a tour. Go to the supermarket together and teach him the look, feel and smell technique to select quality ripe fruit and vegetables. Show him the varieties of milk. Point out where the expiration dates are on the perishables and explain that he must pick one with a later date so you have more time before it sours. Also point out the type of meats (prime, choice, lean) that you prefer. Take supermarket notes (yes, take the notes for him, to be sure they are correct).

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Our guest blogger today is pretty awesome. His name is Tarzan and his wife is Jane and they have a baby they call Monkey. Well, actually those are their code names. They secretly blogged about their entire surprise pregnancy journey on their blog, HisBoysCanSwim.com.

And now that they are parents, they realize their journey has only just begun! A few weeks into parenthood, Tarzan has a few things to say to fathers-to-be. Here are his thoughts, in all their glory:

An open letter to soon-to-be Dads and new fathers: MAN UP you lazy #&%$. Seriously.

by Tarzan

You know, I debated and debated with myself whether or not to write this post. After all, it’s 2:39 AM and I’m struggling to keep my eyes open. And besides that, this is surely a touchy subject with some of you – especially if you’re a lazy new father. But before I get started on my rant, let me fill you in on a little background here…

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