What’s a grandparent to do? Literally. Should they feed the baby, or are you or your mate nursing? Should they change the diapers or are you both managing that just fine. Do you want them to babysit, or do you need to be the one to put your child to bed?
Modern grandparents tend to want to help, but they don’t know how. And sometimes they feel out-of-place and uncomfortable because they think you don’t want them around.
In my search for the perfect potty training method, I discovered the holy grail: “Potty Training” should be renamed “Parent Training.” Every book about potty training relies heavily on the parent as cheerleader, housekeeper, laundry-cleaner and teacher.
I introduced my son to the toilet (we put a potty seat on it), a couple weeks ago and he took to it really fast. He liked the whole experience and learned quickly. Until today it was optional. Now it’s the real deal. My son was happy to participate and peed in the potty at nearly every try today, but I’m exhausted! Just because he pees in the potty, doesn’t mean he doesn’t pee out of the potty. Cleaning up the numerous accidents, keeping him entertained on the potty for a significant portion of the day with songs and books, and continuously talking to him about what it all means and how proud I am of his sissy, has me worn out.
Yesterday, while my friend went out for a short jog, I held her newborn baby girl. The experience was so peaceful. The sweet little baby slept calmly, I rocked her and couldn’t help giving her a kiss on the head. When she became hungry she screamed and then my friend was back and nursed her as she rested on a chair.
I can’t believe I’m saying this but having a newborn seems like the easiest thing now. My husband and I are so excited to have a baby again who has a stable routine: eat, sleep and poop. I can carry the baby in a sling, put it in a swing, pick it up and take it with me wherever I go with my toddler. I can’t wait!
As a mom, I take the responsibility of raising my son (and hopefully any future children) to the best of my ability. In terms of how to parent our child, my husband and I have delved into theories of discipline (apparently “positive discipline” wins out), healthy eating and building character. With all our preparation, we overlooked the big elephant in the room: Birth order.
At a recent mommy and me class, the well-trained parent educator explained that first-born kids receive their parents’ undistracted attention and loads of praise. The impact: they go through life seeking perfection and approval of their teachers, bosses and everyone else. A first-born is the kid who would never imagine going to his fourth grade science class without having done his homework. This can be a good thing: First-borns are more likely to attend college than children in any other position in the family. New research discussed in Scientific American Mind shows a correlation between birth order and IQ (first-borns are smarter). But, birth order can also be a bad thing: first-borns tend to be bossy, controlling, needy of attention and self-centered.
And what about younger children? (more…)
The holidays can be loaded, don’t you think? Originally posted on Babycenter.com’s Momformation blog on December 16. Here’s my take on holiday guilt:
The holiday season is supposed to be about appreciating family, and yet this season often leads to family feuds, guilt, and lasting resentment.
It all begins with the annual question, “Where should we go for the holidays? Should we go to my parents’ house, my in-laws’, sister’s, my brother-in-law, or stay at our house? Can my children handle a long car trip or a plane ride? Can we afford it? Do we want guests at your house?”
All of those questions are important, but none touch on what seems to me to be the hidden underlying factor: What choice (more…)
Hi! I'm Laurie Puhn, a relationship communications expert, family lawyer-mediator and best-selling author of "Instant Persuasion". Welcome to our blog for expecting couples!
