ExpectingWords.com - Helping expecting couples find the right words at the right times

Most people think about the New Year as a good time to lose weight, exercise more often or stop smoking.  But when one is pregnant, the New Year means something entirely different.  We stop dwelling on our appearance and start thinking about who we are, our purpose in life and what values and lessons we can share with our baby-to-be.

Taken from my journal during the time that I was expecting, here are my six New Year’s resolutions for becoming a better person, a better parent and a better partner:

1) Give Grandparent Goodness.
Pay more attention to the soon-to-be grandparents.  Cherish them for all that they give to us and for all the ways they care about us.  Call them more often.  Recognize that we are going to need them much more than we had ever imagined.

2) Be Happily Married.
Fight less with my spouse.  Once a baby enters the family, there is so much more to bicker about, so put on my mediator’s hat now and learn to fight less and compromise more before a little one is around to listen to our arguments.  (For tips on how to stop bickering with your spouse read my article on Web MD.) (more…)

I asked my twitter buddies “what’s your biggest pregnancy pain?”  Turns out I wasn’t alone in the pet peeve department. Here are the five pains that topped the list (I had three of them):

1) Nighttime trips to the bathroom

It makes sense that one would have to pee a lot more in the third trimester with all our organs squeezed into a small space. But peeing five times a night in the first trimester when the embryo is pea-sized? What’s that all about? Turns out that the amount of blood in our body increases dramatically when we get pregnant, causing our body to process more fluid and well… let more of it out.

2) Sciatic pain, otherwise known as “Oh, sh-t, I can’t move my leg!”

I was in the bathtub when it came on in the second trimester. I had to scream for my husband to help me out of the tub. I literally could not move on my own. For two days afterward I had to lift my right leg with my hands because I couldn’t let my right leg muscles move on their own without suffering intense, sharp pain. Thankfully that pain subsided with a week or two, though it can last longer for others. The pain results when the sciatic nerve, which runs from under the uterus to the legs, becomes inflamed from pressure or injury. Here are some tips to combat the pain. (more…)

In Babytalk magazine’s Dec./Jan. issue, Senior Editor Shawn Bean wrote an open letter to all moms asking, “Why do some guys fail at post-baby romance?”

He’s confused by the excuses he’s heard to avoid sex: “Now now.  I have to clean the vacuum.”  He knows men are supposed to initiate foreplay, but writes “we’ve heard foreplay for a woman starts the day before, but you weren’t home Thursday.  Should we have started without you?”

He’s happy to wait until his wife heals from delivering the baby, but what happens when that day arrives, and still no sex?  Bean is right, this is the time for real talk, not just letting things go.  In Sex Talk: Post-Pregnancy I wrote about how many women lie to avoid post-baby sex.

Telling the truth is a crucial first step to rebuilding your sex life, but for some couples, honesty is not enough. (more…)

“No, you cannot come in late,” is what my one year old “boss” would say if he understood the question.

“But please son, it’s the weekend.  I’m not asking for much, just an extra half hour.  6:30 wake up instead of 6am.  Can you do that for me?”

“No, I will not.  And I might even wake up at 5:30am if I feel like it.  This is the job you signed up for.  Now deal with it.”

And so I do.  And so does my husband.  There are so many amazing things about having a child.  We love it, don’t get me wrong.  But sleeping past 6?  I miss it.  Only about 10% of kids are early birds and we have one of them.

So what does my situation have to do with the 90% of you who do not or will not suffer from early bird mornings?  (more…)

I admit it, my one year old son Blake watches Sesame Street on DVR in the morning and during many meals.

Actually, that’s not entirely true anymore.

When I made that admission last week at my son’s class, the teacher kindly admonished me. She explained, “When the TV is on, your child gets into a zone-like trance. That may be okay at 6am when you’re too tired to entertain him, but meal-time TV watching is the beginning of bad eating habits. Television makes your child zone out so that he has no idea what’s going into his mouth.”

Watching TV causes my son to zone out? But that’s exactly why I use TV, to zone him out so he’ll sit still in his high chair long enough to eat a healthy breakfast or lunch… or dinner. I never thought TV was educational (and the Baby Einstein refund practically confirms this), but I also didn’t think moderate TV watching was harmful.

I gave my “defense,” to the teacher and other parents, (more…)