ExpectingWords.com » Just For Fun

OMG My Air Conditioner Broke!

Laurie — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 17:19:41 +0000

I was going to write a post about how little time I spend reading the week-by-week pregnancy updates, as compared to the immense amount of time I devoted to that during my first pregnancy. I was going to write about how this second child is already getting less attention than my first, but, I can’t even write about that right now, because I am totally sidetracked by lack of AC! It was in the 90s today. It’s 85 degrees right now, and a high of 98 tomorrow.

We have AC working on the first floor, but it broke down today on the second floor where the bedrooms are. If it was only my husband and me at home, we’d live, but with Blake, my sweet little 2-year old? Poor thing! His crib is upstairs and we’ve debated all options. It’s too late to go to my parents’ house, his crib is too heavy to carry downstairs, so we put on our little fan and my husband is out running to Walmart to buy an industrial strength fan. We have an emergency AC guy coming sometime before midnight, but who knows if he can fix it? And in terms of stressful marital moments, lack of AC certainly creates one.

I guess I am back to my original topic. There is so much going on in life and so much of my energy is taken up by Blake that I just don’t have the time to devote to the wonder and excitement of my pregnancy. (Just checked the baby monitor, thank goodness Blake fell asleep!).

A while ago I wrote a post about the affect of birth order on personality. The first-born is the approval-seeker, having been lavished with attention and praise throughout childhood. The second-born tends to be a risk-taker, possibly trying to steal attention. I can already see this happening during pregnancy. My husband and I talk about this second pregnancy about one-third as much as we talked about the first one.

I guess that’s just how things go. Now if only the AC guy would show up!!!

Do You Love or Hate Being Pregnant?

Laurie — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 14:33:17 +0000

Now that I’m out (aka made the pregnancy announcement), I’ve been asked that strange question, “Do you like being pregnant?” which is usually followed by a pressure-cooker comment like, “because I LOVED being pregnant!” Hmm, what am I supposed to answer? I’m fine being pregnant and I’m also fine when I’m not pregnant. I don’t have strong feelings about it. Heidi Klum says she loves being pregnant, so does Jessica Alba, but are they for real or just saying that because it sounds good? A woman named Kat writes a whole blog taking the opposite view – I Hate Being Pregnant.

I wonder if people love and hate pregnant for the same reasons. For instance, a foreign being has taken over your body. This can feel special and exciting, or weird, painful and alien-like. Or perhaps some people love the extra attention they get from husbands, co-workers and friends while being pregnant. Then again, a friend of mine who is very private is thrilled that she is pregnant, but she’s very put-off by the questions and attention from others. On the other hand, perhaps those who tried harder and longer to get pregnant are more apt to appreciate and love the experience of pregnancy.

My friend Robin, founder of Crib Notes, an on-line playgroup and newsletter for parents with kids under 2, is one of those lucky pregnant ladies who had very little sickness during pregnancy. She says that she loved being pregnant because of “the excitement of knowing my baby was growing inside of me and wondering what he was going to look like, be like and how my life was going to change. And of course the shallow chick side of me loved that I had a license to get bigger and have a milkshake when I felt like it. I’ve never felt as confident in a bathing suit as I did when pregnant!”

Another friend, whose name is withheld for fear of implicating family members, told me she’s been put on the spot with the do you love/hate being pregnant question.

I’ve had several people including my mom and my MIL tell me they loved being pregnant. And I questioned if it was actually true – there is a lot going on that isn’t so pleasant and genuinely difficult “to love”.

I’ve also had friends tell me they absolutely hated being pregnant which was typically tied to illness, pain, or general discomfort. I wondered when the physical and/or emotional suffering is so severe, if it completely overshadows how amazing the experience really is – which made me sad.

My position… I don’t love or hate being pregnant. But I love that I am pregnant.

What’s your position on pregnancy? Hate it? Love it?

Happy Father’s Day!

Laurie — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 17:24:08 +0000

Father’s Day is underrated. People plan Mother’s Day for weeks, and sometimes months ahead of time. But Father’s Day? “It’s just not as big a deal as Mother’s Day,” says my husband. So am I supposed to believe that, or should I make a big deal out of it anyway?

My husband deals with many of the same childcare frustrations that I have to deal with: early mornings, night wakings, difficult meal times, tantrums (hmm, am I making parenthood sound difficult?). I do handle the majority of those hard experiences, but, still, he’s been pushed to edge of patience more times than either of us would care to admit.

Fatherhood isn’t the easiest. So I’d like to give a shout out to my husband for being a wonderful dad to our son Blake. You take the ups and downs while you play with him and share joyful activities together every day. From taking him to the diner for weekend breakfast, to making up silly games and playing hide and seek, you make him smile, giggle and beg for more games.

If you liked flowers I would have bought them for you today. But I think that what you really want is all that a mom really wants on Mother’s Day, a chance to enjoy the fun of the child without the dirty work. So I’m taking your Father’s Day request to heart. You asked, ”As my present can you change his doody diapers today?” Yes, honey, I can. And I’ll even do it for the whole week!

I love you!

Announcing MY Pregnancy!

Laurie — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 19:49:06 +0000

There are lots of creative ways to announce one’s pregnancy. I’m not that creative. I’m pregnant!

I’m 8 weeks along in the journey and my husband and I are thrilled that a new little baby will hopefully join our family next year. I write “hopefully” because the future is never certain. We can only be joyful today as we share our excitement with others. If you’re wondering whether it feels as thrilling to become pregnant the second time around, it does. In fact, it’s almost more thrilling because I know what to expect.

Here are the top 10 ways that pregnancy the second time around is fabulous!

People don’t ask, “were you trying?” They assume you were.
I already have maternity clothes.
I’m prepared for baby puke.
I know what breastfeeding is all about.
“Cry it out” has already been decided. And I won’t feel guilty about it.
I can take pleasure in holding a tiny infant without worrying about whether I’m holding it the right way.
Baby blues don’t scare me. I know it’s temporary.
I’ve learned to ask for help, a lot.
I can watch my 2-year old hold his little sibling.
Answers? I don’t have them and I’m okay with that.

This is my first blog post about my new pregnancy and it won’t be my last. If you’ll bear with me, I’ll share the details of my journey in regular blog updates in addition the usual parenting and communication posts you’ll find here. Since this is a blog about couple communication for new parents and expecting couples, I will disclose that yes, my husband agreed to make our news public, and yes, he is as excited as I am!

Cheap Baby Toys

Laurie — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 18:23:54 +0000

I wanted to get my son a toy piano. “But we have a real keyboard, Laurie,” exclaimed my husband, “He doesn’t need any more toys and we don’t need any more stuff in the house.” He was right, but I had to be reminded.

Buying a new toy is an easy way to keep Blake occupied for 10 minutes, but it’s a costly form of entertainment. My husband and I began talking about all of the things Blake likes to play with that are basic household objects. These so-called toys are free and available to any parent. For instance, we went to my parent’s house and my mother brought out a colander and toothpicks. To our surprise, Blake was enthralled by sticking the toothpicks in the holes and then locating them on the ground. He did this again, and again (under supervision of course).

Another cheap-o baby toy? An empty plastic milk carton. I cleaned one out and gave it to Blake who fills it up outside with a hose, using a nozzle. Then he walks to a bush or plant and waters it. His smile while doing this is worth a thousand dollars! This is a great sunny day activity.

My son also likes painting, but I’m not a fan of real paint. So, we fill a bowl with a quarter inch of water, give him a small paintbrush and an old newspaper. He “paints” the newspaper and feels proud of himself for this. He’s also obsessed with the hand wipes containers. We give him the empty containers and he puts stuff in it. Another idea I discovered on the TV show “Fireman Sam” is to make a paper airplane together and then fly it around the house.

Hide and seek is another game we play, every single day. We put a blanket over a chair and that becomes his special hiding place. Add in a flashlight and he has a ball. Another hiding place could be a cardboard box. Our favorites are from diapers.com. We cut out a peep hole and stick things through it.

Here’s a great blog post about 17 Ways to Turn Your Trash into Toddler Toys. I love the idea about putting rubber bands on an empty shoebox to create a guitar. Another way to use an empty shoebox is to create a sensory box. Put some dry rice in there for your child to play with and hide some raisins, or other small things in there so he can find them (or eat them).

Creating children’s toys at home is not just exciting for the kids, it’s rewarding for the parents because it forces discover our own crafty talents.

What ideas do you have for turning household objects into baby toys? Please share!

Pregnancy Style Tips

Laurie — Mon, 10 May 2010 15:30:44 +0000

Style tips? In pregnancy? Is that possible? Yes, because style is not all about looking skinny. Style is about looking confident, comfortable and happy. It’s about putting your best face (and body) forward.

In a prior post, I wrote about saving money with a maternity clothes merry-go-round among friends. Another way to save is to buy non-maternity clothes that you can wear for years. I found low-cut empire waist shirts to be flattering and kind-of sexy, and yoga pants were awesome for my expanding (and later-on shrinking) body.

Here’s a great list of essential items from Destination Maternity:

Essential maternity items:

Stretch pants – they will accommodate your growing belly (get in black or khaki so they will match everything)

Slim Fit Skirt – with belly panel

A Dress – especially a black dress – slimming and will match everything)

3/4 Sleeve Top

One or two Maternity T-Shirts – You can wear them by themselves or they are great for layering under pre-pregnancy button up shirts or cardigans/jackets (worn undone)

A Tunic Length Sweater – for colder weather

A Button down Shirt – great for work or more formal occasions

Maternity Jeans – invest in a pair of jeans that fit well. You don’t have to settle for a pair of ugly, baggy jeans just because you’re pregnant. A style that sits on the hips is great for early pregnancy, while those with flattering panels or full stretch capability is essential for later on. Stick to jeans made in a stretch fabric for maximum comfort.

Along with those essentials, here are helpful style tips from Lifetimemoms

1. “Nothing says maternity style like a wrap blouse or wrap dress….

2. A hot mama must have her skinny jeans. You may not feel very skinny, but even with a gorgeous pregnancy bump and a few extra pounds elsewhere you can still look cute in a great pair of skinny jeans. I love these by Maternal America, sold at UnbuttonedMaternity.com….

3. Yoga pants just aren’t for yoga anymore, sweetie. These ultra comfy pants by Liz Lange for Target are great during pregnancy and only $29.99. Check out Target.com for other affordable fashion finds from Liz Lange too!

4. When it comes to maternity style, you just can’t go wrong with an expressive tee. Check out the rockin’ tees by Rock Me Mama —a collection of concert tees made from vintage cotton jersey with the authentic asymmetrical sleeves….”

My final tip: show off your legs. Your belly might be big, but your legs aren’t. Wear above-the-knee maternity skirts and buy a sexy, yet comfortable pair of sandals to match.

What are your pregnancy style tips? What works for you?

It’s Our First Anniversary!

Laurie — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 12:53:34 +0000

When I started writing Expecting Words about one year ago, I thought the blog would focus on pregnancy and new parenthood: the do’s and don’ts, the ups and downs and the relationship pitfalls induced by pregnancy and parenthood. But as I read through the most-popular posts of this last year, I was surprised to discover that this blog is actually about something much bigger – CONFIDENCE!

Nearly every blog post from Hey Mean Moms, Zip It! to Breastfeeding is a Man’s Job Too seems to raise the same underlying theme: be confident; ask for what you want; believe in yourself!

There is a purpose to this blog. I am sharing my personal stories and insights, my relationship highlights and disasters in an effort to help myself and others build the internal strength one needs to be confident as both a parent and a partner. Why does this matter? Because confident parents help to create confident children. With clarity of vision, parents can make decisions based on their values, not on what other people think. Moreover, confident spouses and partners have the courage to speak up and negotiate challenges together so that love can survive and thrive as the family grows.

A confident attitude can begin when we are trying to conceive (How to Halt the Advice-Givers), and then continue into pregnancy when we must have the self-esteem to laugh off rudeness (see Top 5 Rude Comments Pregnant Women Field), to talk to our partner about problems (see Do We Have a Right to Complain?) and to share our express anxieties and fears (see Communication Blunders of Dads-to-be and Do You Cry in the Shower?).

And then, once we’re through the nine-month training ground of pregnancy, we, moms and dads, face new challenges to our self-esteem. I wrote about Am I a Good Enough Mother? and Circle Time, Not for Me, to share my own confidence-shaking experiences.

So why am I babbling about confidence on our one year anniversary? Because it’s not just the blog that is one year older. So am I. You are too. In that time we’ve grown together and my hope is that we use this blog to build each other’s self-esteem so that we can be better parents, have more rewarding relationships, and create stronger families.

Thank you for sharing your comments on this blog. I hope to hear more from you!

Random Pregnancy Facts

Laurie — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 15:51:15 +0000

According to a Time Magazine article from 1945, the longest pregnancy was 12 months, 10 days. If you have a hard time believing that, perhaps some of these other random pregnancy facts might interest you.

4.25 million babies are born in the United States each year.

In 1970, the average age for a first-time mother was about 21.

In 2005, the average age for a first-time mother was about 25.2.

In 2006, it dropped to 25.

There were 5.1 million stay-at-home moms in 2009, down from 5.3 million in 2008.

There were 158,000 stay-at-home dads in 2009, up from 140,000 in 2008.

Women with full-time jobs earned salaries equal to 77.9 percent of what men earned in 2009, up from 77.5 percent in 2007 and about 64 percent in 2000.

22.5% of births were induced in 2006.

31.1% of births were cesarean sections in 2006

The c-section rate has increased 50% over the last decade.

One in eight babies are born premature in the United States each year.

Your first pregnancy is usually longer than subsequent ones.

During pregnancy, the average woman’s uterus expands up to five hundred times its normal size.

During pregnancy a woman’s heart pumps 30 to 50% more blood than it did pre-pregnancy.

Male seahorses, pipefish, weedy and leafy sea dragons can get pregnant.

Nearly all babies are born with blue or blue-gray eyes.

Babies use about 3,000 diapers per year.

Here are more pregnancy facts from the CDC, facts about c-section rates, a summary of census data on stay-at-home parents, and more about age of first pregnancy.

Other Posts You Might Like:

Deciding Whether to Go Back to Work?

The New Normal: Mom’s at Work, Dad’s at Home

Preparing for Birth: Choosing a VBAC