ExpectingWords.com - Helping expecting couples find the right words at the right times

How could I not mention Kelly Preston’s story this week?  Everyone has an opinion: She’s too old, it’s puts the baby-to-be at risk, etc.  Well, I’m happy for the couple.

My only concern is that the focus on older celebrity moms could lead other women to think that getting pregnant past 40 is easy.  The consequence could mean putting trying to conceive on the back burner until it’s too late.  Becoming an older mom is not easy for most people, including our guest poster Robin.  Data on U.S. fertility rates from 2000 to 2005 show that only 0.12% of babies born to American women are to moms ages 45-49, only 2% are to moms ages 40-44, and 10.5% are to moms ages 35-39.  Another way to interpret the numbers is to say that for every 1000 babies born in the US, only 32 are born to women in their 40s.

I remember watching Oprah interview Martha Stewart’s daughter, Alexis Stewart, to discuss her struggle to conceive a biological child.  Alexis told the audience about (more…)

The other day I was talking to my friend about trying to conceive (she’s two months pregnant and already has a 3-year old) and we talked about how “involved” each of us had gotten in the process.

There are those women who have sex as usual, but without the goalie, and they “see what happens.” I’d guess those ladies are laid-back with a Type B personality in all segments of their lives.  While others of us, myself included, try to learn every detail about the process and still feel ignorant.  Hello fellow Type A’ers!

My friend and I asked each other, did you check your basal body temperature every day?  Your cervical mucus? Your cervix shape and feel? Did you read books about getting pregnant?  Did you time sex to optimize a certain gender?

Although we were talking about this topic for the first time, it was no holds barred.  In the TTC and new mother world, women will talk about anything! (more…)

Do you know what “BD” means? Learning what it meant was my initiation into the TTC crowd (“trying to conceive” crowd). It means, “baby dance,” which begs the question—and what does that mean??? Answer: doing it for the purposes of producing a baby, or more simply put — sex without a goalie.

Reading TTC and pregnancy message boards introduced me to so many terms, some outrageous, others not, and I searched the web for a cliff notes to these terms. Not finding one, I’ve decided to create my own.  Read on and click the links to learn more about the meaning behind each term.  And if you’re already pregnant or have a child, it’s never too late to find out what you don’t know.   (more…)

In my recent blog post “Behind Closed Doors: Trying to Conceive,” I wrote about how insensitive people can be to those who are trying to get pregnant for a long period of time. I was surprised and impressed by my readers’ honest responses to the post. They shared their frustrating and hurtful experiences dealing with rude comments and unnecessary advice during a time that is already difficult and disappointing. Each story is compelling and reminds us how few people really think before they speak.

One comment stood out for me because I sensed that the writer’s spirit was being beaten down by the struggle and burden of her friends and family’s comments. She had a wish and I’ve decided to grant it for her, rather I’ve given her the words so she can grant it for herself.

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A friend of mine who has been married for four years had been trying to conceive (TTC) for half that time. She shared her ups and downs, including two devastating miscarriages with a very small group of friends. When she became pregnant for the third time, she was thrilled to announce it after the 13 week mark. Her co-worker’s response: “It’s about time!” As if she had been delaying pregnancy so she could enjoy a few more years of late night drinking binges. Clueless about her two year journey to have a baby, he put his foot in his mouth.

Before TTC myself, I just assumed that people who didn’t have babies didn’t want them and people who wanted them would get pregnant pretty easily. I’d learned about how babies are made in sixth grade health class and my knowledge really hadn’t been updated since.

But once I entered the strange secret land of TTC, I realized that there was a world of information I didn’t know. It quickly dawned upon me that appearances can be deceiving. When I met a couple without kids, I realized they may or may not have chosen this family structure. People don’t publicly announce that they’ve been trying for 16 months, or that they’re infertile, or that the guy has a low sperm count, or that she’s taking Clomid and has been picked and prodded twenty times in the last month. There’s a natural tendency to keep this information secret.

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