How to Ask for What You Want
Posted by Laurie
This is a topic I’ve written about for years. A chapter in my first book Instant Persuasion is called “Ask and You’ll Receive.” In it, I share stories of disappointed expectations, such as:
“I wanted a special Valentine’s gift and I assumed he knew that. But he only got me a store-bought card and I was hurt.” Um, honey, if you didn’t tell him that you wanted a wrapped gift, he wasn’t going to read your mind. You set yourself up to be disappointed.
Communication Blunder: It’s a blunder to expect someone to offer you something that you want.
With all my insights and tips for others, I try to apply them to myself too. Turns out I have a big mouth in the public world, but when it comes to home life, sometimes I have to push myself to speak up. Anyone else like that? (more…)

I’ve noticed in my mediation practice that it’s quite common for a spouse to tell me that the relationship was fine until they had kids, and then….”my husband’s flaws blew up in my face!” I usually tell people that those flaws existed before you had children, but you didn’t notice them because forgetting to buy a tape measure doesn’t compare to the impending disaster of forgetting to buy diapers, and being tired and uninterested in cooking dinner is much less harmful than being too tired to bother giving your kid a bath or being too lazy to buy babyproof covers for the outlets. The flaws always existed, but the consequences are much worse when children are affected.
Yesterday, I returned from an amazing three day Smart Marriages conference in Orlando. (Check out their perspective on the
When I started a
There are lots of creative ways to
