ExpectingWords.com - Helping expecting couples find the right words at the right times

Oh baby! It’s all about the baby. Whether you’re pregnant or a new parent, you know what I mean. That amazing love and connection you have with your mate is put on the back burner the moment the baby enters the picture. The irony is that while this romantic love brings a baby into the world, that baby can also cause the love to diminish.

Babies need constant attention which usually comes at the expense of the parents’ quality time together. But just like a plant needs water and sunlight to grow, a couple’s love requires time, attention and nourishment. Without those essential ingredients, love falters. One husband I see in my mediation practice said of his wife, “I love her but I’m not in love with her anymore.” These are harsh words, but there are some simple strategies to prevent those hurtful words from being uttered.

What activities can you do for yourself or as a couple?

For Yourself:

1. Read the Paper: Read the newspaper, talk about current events over dinner (not just about the color of your baby’s poop).
2. Take a Stroll: Take the baby out for an early evening stroll, not because the baby needs it, but because you want to experience life in action and breathe some fresh air.
3. Go out with Friends: Spend a little time with friends. You and your partner can strike a bargain that each of you gets a night out with friends every other week. Your partner is a free babysitter. Don’t feel guilty about using the service, as long as you reciprocate.

For You and Your Honey:

1. Kiss: Don’t wait for bedtime to have your first kiss of the day. Put some tender loving caresses into your normal activities. When you sit on the couch don’t pick the seat on the opposite side because it has a foot rest (though I know you want to!). Sit next to your mate, even if it’s only for 10 minutes. Reach for his or her hand. It only takes a moment to spark a connection.
2. Have a Cocktail Party: Host a private cocktail hour after the baby goes to sleep. Light some candles, heat up some frozen hors d’oeuvres and mix some drinks or pour the wine just for you and your honey.
3. Be Kind: Say “good morning” and “good night” to each other, especially if you go to sleep at different times. If you go to bed earlier, ask your partner to tuck you in. Silliness is fun!
4. Date: Sprinkle in a few date nights each month, even if it means you hire a sitter and go to a local bar for a burger and beer. Having a reason to brush your hair and put on nice clothes is a relationship love booster.
5. Write: Send a short e-mail or text “Just thinking about you. I love you” or “We love you. Can’t wait to see you tonight!” if you’re with the baby.

These are just a few ideas for couples activities to keep the love connection blooming after baby.

Do you have any relationship secrets to share with us? Please share your ideas for couple activities.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 26th, 2009 at 5:30 pm and is filed under Emotional Support, Health & Wellness, Life-Style. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response.