Comments on: Do We Have a Right to Complain? http://www.expectingwords.com/do-we-have-a-right-to-complain Helping expecting couples find the right words at the right times Thu, 29 Jul 2010 05:22:20 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Ruhal http://www.expectingwords.com/do-we-have-a-right-to-complain/comment-page-1#comment-16 Ruhal Sun, 12 Apr 2009 07:47:21 +0000 http://expectingwords.com/?p=59#comment-16 As the father of a 4 month old whose wife's relatively recent pregnancy still fresh, a thought: to the "I have every right to say and do and feel what I damned well please because it's his fault I'm this way!" camp: remember that it takes two to tango and, we're only half of the equation that got you pregnant. That being said, you are doing all the heavy lifting for 37+ weeks and we're there in only a supportive role. For those of us who play that role, willingly or unwillingly, we would much rather play the support role than the subservient role. We are husbands/boyfriends/significant others and not slave boys and hate to be made to feel as such. We will move the planets for you because you're giving us the most precious gift a man can get but please, in the name of all that's good and holy, don't abuse that position of power you hold over us! You have every right to feel what you feel (in every sense of the word) and you have all the more right to express your feelings. However, understand that we too experience the full complement of emotions and physical pains any given day may bring, all the more complicated with the stress, joy and every emotion in between and of the sheer worry and thought of you and the precious life you carry. Basically, we're not asking you to bite your tongue or to "suck it up and move along" but to, once in a while, if and when you see fit, to cut us the slightest bit of slack ;-) As the father of a 4 month old whose wife’s relatively recent pregnancy still fresh, a thought: to the “I have every right to say and do and feel what I damned well please because it’s his fault I’m this way!” camp: remember that it takes two to tango and, we’re only half of the equation that got you pregnant. That being said, you are doing all the heavy lifting for 37+ weeks and we’re there in only a supportive role. For those of us who play that role, willingly or unwillingly, we would much rather play the support role than the subservient role. We are husbands/boyfriends/significant others and not slave boys and hate to be made to feel as such. We will move the planets for you because you’re giving us the most precious gift a man can get but please, in the name of all that’s good and holy, don’t abuse that position of power you hold over us! You have every right to feel what you feel (in every sense of the word) and you have all the more right to express your feelings. However, understand that we too experience the full complement of emotions and physical pains any given day may bring, all the more complicated with the stress, joy and every emotion in between and of the sheer worry and thought of you and the precious life you carry. Basically, we’re not asking you to bite your tongue or to “suck it up and move along” but to, once in a while, if and when you see fit, to cut us the slightest bit of slack ;-)

]]> By: Laurie http://www.expectingwords.com/do-we-have-a-right-to-complain/comment-page-1#comment-15 Laurie Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:41:11 +0000 http://expectingwords.com/?p=59#comment-15 I totally understand the sentiment that pregnant women have the right to complain for those nine hard months of pregnancy. But, there is a serious consequence to exercising that right. During a woman’s pregnancy a good man is also going through tough times and stresses about how his life will change when the baby arrives. When his wife/partner complains every day, a man might fear that motherhood is turning his loved one into someone who isn’t content, someone who blames him for her problems, someone who requires that others walk on egg shells around her. Yes pregnancy is hard work, but we should still be considerate when talking to our partner. -Laurie I totally understand the sentiment that pregnant women have the right to complain for those nine hard months of pregnancy. But, there is a serious consequence to exercising that right. During a woman’s pregnancy a good man is also going through tough times and stresses about how his life will change when the baby arrives. When his wife/partner complains every day, a man might fear that motherhood is turning his loved one into someone who isn’t content, someone who blames him for her problems, someone who requires that others walk on egg shells around her. Yes pregnancy is hard work, but we should still be considerate when talking to our partner.
-Laurie

]]> By: Jennifer http://www.expectingwords.com/do-we-have-a-right-to-complain/comment-page-1#comment-14 Jennifer Wed, 08 Apr 2009 19:24:05 +0000 http://expectingwords.com/?p=59#comment-14 Laurie, I appreciate what you are trying to say here. Clearly, getting couple to be more understanding during these nine months is crucial. But, imho, I think you're being too easy on the men. We (women) are already going through one of the toughest times of our lives. We should not also have the burden of playing political games with the person who is supposed to love us the most. I mean, really, is 9 months of total tolerance too much to ask of your man? If he can't handle you for nine months, then maybe he's not as perfect as you thought. Laurie,

I appreciate what you are trying to say here. Clearly, getting couple to be more understanding during these nine months is crucial. But, imho, I think you’re being too easy on the men. We (women) are already going through one of the toughest times of our lives. We should not also have the burden of playing political games with the person who is supposed to love us the most. I mean, really, is 9 months of total tolerance too much to ask of your man? If he can’t handle you for nine months, then maybe he’s not as perfect as you thought.

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