Moms, You Deserve to Be Heard!
Posted by Laurie
Mother’s Day 2010 has come and gone, but as usual, on that day many people sent around quotes via email to memorialize the day.
Here’s a quote that someone forwarded to me:
“A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie”. ~Tenneva Jordan
Those words seemed sweet and endearing, at first. But then I decided that this quote was dead wrong.
In the past, a good mother and wife may have been defined as a woman who sacrifices for others, putting her families’ needs before her own. But nowadays, a woman can speak up for herself and be caring and loving wife and mother. While I think sacrifice is a noble endeavor, some of the time, it is silly, passive and harmful to a family if that is one’s attitude all of the time.
Taking the quote literally, I must point out that the woman who pretends not to want pie (for reasons other than dieting) is behaving like a doormat. Why not at least ask for half of a piece? Am I alone in thinking this? Is it so wrong to be a little selfish?
Amy Oztan writes an entire blog about finding the selfish balance. It’s called Selfish Mom. She writes, “I have no interest in spending all day on the playground, and I don’t believe that my children should be the center of my life. We’re all in this together, but I was here first. That’s not to say that I don’t love them to death, but honestly, I wish being a mom was a five-day-a-week job. With mandatory spa breaks and six weeks of vacation a year. When they have kids they’ll understand.”
Do you think a good mom should ask for a piece of the pie? How is your mom’s attitude toward motherhood different from yours? Do you ever feel guilty for making your needs count?
This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 12th, 2010 at 1:30 pm and is filed under Balance & Fairness, Roles & Responsibilities. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response.
I think that not being selfish enough is part of the reason I have been experiencing some postpartum depression. I never, ever, have any time to myself. I recently spoke with my husband finally about how I had been feeling and we have made a commitment to helping me find some time for myself, even if its just an hour at a coffee shop.
When my first baby was born I wouldn’t even take a shower some mornings, thinking it was too much time to take for myself. I think too many moms take on too much, thinking they are a bad mother if they can’t do it all.