My Baby Blues
Posted by Laurie
I sent my baby away. That was the start of my baby blues. Now to be fair, I didn’t send him far, it was only to the nursery in the hospital instead of having him by my bedside in the maternity ward. But, it was far enough that I felt guilty.
Wasn’t I supposed to delight in having my baby sleeping next to me in the “mother-baby room” that’s the new trend in maternity wards? All I felt was angst. My baby cried and cried. I didn’t know why. I nursed him, swaddled him, rocked him. Nothing would help. So during my two nights in the hospital, he went to the nursery, other than feeding times. I felt guilty and stressed out but still happy and I loved being with him during the daytime.
Once I got home, my mood got a little worse. My baby would nurse for hours and still cry from hunger. I couldn’t seem to satisfy him. The routine of breastfeeding with an hour or two break in between was exhausting me. I nursed and started to pump and supplement with formula. I slept a little more, but now I had trouble falling asleep. The discomfort from the birth process, nursing and the needs of this tiny beautiful baby were overwhelming me.
A week after giving birth I remember looking at our wedding photo and thinking, “Will we ever be that way again?” It 
seems a ridiculous question, in retrospect that question was very real to me. What was happening? I really didn’t understand why I wasn’t feeling joyful. I had never had any major “issues” in my life. I’m happy and optimistic. I have a wonderful husband, supportive family and friends. How could my baby, who I desperately wanted, make me feel sad?
Ah, the baby blues. According to the American Pregnancy Association 50 to 70 percent of all new mothers experience some negative feelings or mood swings after the birth of their child. What I didn’t know was that happy women get the baby blues and it’s a normal part of new motherhood. The dramatic post-pregnancy hormone shift brings on negative feelings and when the hormones rebalance about two weeks after the birth, the baby blues are gone. If the mom’s mood doesn’t improve after two weeks, then she might have postpartum depression, which is clinical depression that occurs in 20 percent of moms in the first postpartum year. The Mayo Clinic explains the symptoms of postpartum depression.
Thankfully, my mood changed back to normal a couple weeks after the baby arrived. I realized that I had been through a rough patch that was now over. I was back to my normal self. Don’t get me wrong, I was still tired, but I appreciated my family and took great pleasure in holding my little one. I liked watching him rest, eat and sleep. He was and is my angel.
The one thing that stood out during those difficult two weeks was my husband. He didn’t flinch. My mood would go from good to bad all of a sudden and he didn’t blame me or get angry that I wasn’t feeling as happy as I should. He didn’t tell me not to feel sad and he didn’t act shocked or hurt that I wasn’t behaving like we expected. He accepted that I was going through a rough time and supported me with words and actions. He read about baby blues and would remind me that my hormones were out of whack and would soon return to normal (and if they didn’t he would have helped me handle that). He let me know that it was okay to feel sad.
For all the expectant fathers out there, I want you to know that you can play an enormous role in helping the mother handle and recover from the birth. If your partner goes through the baby blues, join her in the journey, don’t ignore it. You don’t have to solve all the problems and certainly don’t need to take part in the sad feelings, but you can ask her how she’s doing and check in a few times each day. Be there to support and console her, to share information and free her from guilt. In that way you are being more than a great father, you are being a wonderful partner.
Tell me Moms, did you experience the baby blues? And Dads, I would love to hear from you too.
This entry was posted on Monday, June 1st, 2009 at 5:47 pm and is filed under Baby Prep, Emotional Support, Health & Wellness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response.
That was a very well written and informative post. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. I can see that being very helpful to other women in the same position.
While I, myself, did not suffer from the “baby blues”, I certainly could relate to wanting to send the baby off to the nursery for a bit.
Not only did we just go through the most painful physical experience possible, we did it all while we most likely were over tired from labouring and hungry so it makes perfect sense that mothers should be given a little more support so that she could get at least one night’s good sleep and get adequate nourish to replenish the stores and before throwing her into the thick of it.