ExpectingWords.com - Helping expecting couples find the right words at the right times

When I started a Facebook fan page for my upcoming book, Fight Less, Love More (Rodale, Oct. 2010), I wasn’t sure whether I’d use it to announce book events or share advice.  Turns out a third and better purpose evolved on its own.  The fans themselves turned it into a forum to share their experiences with relationships.  I’ve been stunned by their honesty, and some of the recent fan discussions about the ups and downs of marriage struck me as a topic that expecting couples and new parents could relate to.

I posted this status update as a question:

“Couples often have phases in their relationships, good years, and then not-so perfect years and back to more good years.  If your relationship is going through a rough spell, don’t give up!  Has anyone experienced the phases and survived?”

In response, Heather commented, “4 years ago we did…we actually separated for 3 months. We were in our worst financial state. very stressful. We just realized we loved each other regardless and we pulled through! We learned to better communicate our feelings from that experience! It has been uphill and going strong since!”   Continue reading »

I was going to write a post about how little time I spend reading the week-by-week pregnancy updates, as compared to the immense amount of time I devoted to that during my first pregnancy.  I was going to write about how this second child is already getting less attention than my first, but, I can’t even write about that right now, because I am totally sidetracked by lack of AC!  It was in the 90s today.  It’s 85 degrees right now, and a high of 98 tomorrow.

We have AC working on the first floor, but it broke down today on the second floor where the bedrooms are. If it was only my husband and me at home, we’d live, but with Blake, my sweet little 2-year old?  Poor thing!  His crib is upstairs and we’ve debated all options.  It’s too late to go to my parents’ house, his crib is too heavy to carry downstairs, so we put on our little fan and my husband is out running to Walmart to buy an industrial strength fan.  We have an emergency AC guy coming sometime before midnight, but who knows if he can fix it?  And in terms of stressful marital moments, lack of AC certainly creates one.

I guess I am back to my original topic.  There is so much going on in life and so much of my energy is taken up by Blake that I just don’t have the time to devote to the wonder and excitement of my pregnancy.  (Just checked the baby monitor, thank goodness Blake fell asleep!).

A while ago I wrote a post about the affect of birth order on personality. The first-born is Continue reading »

We moved to a new house a few weeks ago and the other day a good friend asked me how I like it here.  “I don’t know.  The house makes me nauseous,” I answered.

“Oh, and my car also makes me nauseous, so do the streets and my backyard.”  There really was no other way to answer the question.  I think I love it here, but I need to wait another few weeks before I can know for sure.

First trimester is icky.  Thankfully, I haven’t thrown up (yet), but the head spinning in pretty frequent.  If I think too deeply about something like my house or where to go out to dinner on Friday, I might gag.  My morning sickness wasn’t this bad during my first pregnancy (and I’m hoping that a different experience of pregnancy might mean that I’m having a girl.  I know, it’s delusional, but let me hope.)  One more complaint to add before I change the topic – I’m also extremely tired.  “How tired?” asked my father.  “Well, on some days, it’s as if I woke up in the morning and took NyQuil and then tried to go about my day.”

My new neighbor told me that during her first Continue reading »

It’s a long title, but that’s the best way to say it.  Yesterday we celebrated Blake’s 2nd birthday.  It was fabulous.  Family friends, in the backyard at our new house, pizza, BBQ, music and fun.

The best part was that Blake was lovingly surrounded by all four grandparents and his great-grandmother.  What a lucky little boy!

During the party I was thinking about how next year at this time, Blake will have a sibling.  I wonder how this will affect Blake’s personality.  He gets so much attention right now, and he has since he was born.

One of our friends here yesterday has a seven-month old boy and she was saying how great it is that she just puts him on the floor with a ball and he’s happy playing by himself for an hour.  I overheard this and ran to tell her, “Appreciate this!  Do you know that not all babies do this?  Blake never entertained himself with a ball for more than a few minutes.”  She had no idea.  ”You mean every baby doesn’t happily play with balls for hours?” she asked.  ”One hundred percent, no.  It’s personality that defines how much a child can play by him or herself.”

Soon my theory will be put to the test.  Is it nature or nurture?   Continue reading »

Now that I’m out (aka made the pregnancy announcement), I’ve been asked that strange question, “Do you like being pregnant?” which is usually followed by a pressure-cooker comment like, “because I LOVED being pregnant!”  Hmm, what am I supposed to answer?  I’m fine being pregnant and I’m also fine when I’m not pregnant.  I don’t have strong feelings about it.  Heidi Klum says she loves being pregnant, so does Jessica Alba, but are they for real or just saying that because it sounds good?  A woman named Kat writes a whole blog taking the opposite view – I Hate Being Pregnant.

I wonder if people love and hate pregnant for the same reasons.  For instance, Continue reading »