Comments on: Why Moms Can Be Meanies

By: Bonnie

Bonnie — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:18:40 +0000

I have to say 22 is not too young to have a child especially if you are married. I do think anyone under 18 probably should not be getting pregnant but that’s neither here nor there. I’m almost 26, have a college degree, a great job, am married and am getting so much grief about wanting to ttc that I would sooner just move to another country. Yes it is that hard to put up with. I feel like I have nobody besides my husband whom I can talk to about it without being judged and it really really hurts.

By: Laurie

Laurie — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 03:05:38 +0000

Thank you all so much for sharing your stories about how you’ve been on the receiving end of meanie moms. It takes guts to stand up to those obnoxious looks and comments. I applaud you for being strong and making the decisions that are best for you and your family without regard for others’ opinions. And now I’ll share my story: my 1.5 year old still uses a bottle sometimes. There, I admit it! Please, don’t judge me for it. But if you do, I don’t care!

Laurie

By: RPParkins

RPParkins — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 18:11:40 +0000

I am on the receiving end of alot of criticism because I didn’t breastfeed my 2 boys and now that I’m pregnant again with a little girl I know I won’t be breastfeeding this time either. People want to get all on your case about it, but they have no idea why I’m not and don’t even bother to ask. I CAN”T! The doctor has told me absolutely not. It could cause health problems for the baby. I know it sounds crazy but it’s true. So, if any of you out there hassle new moms about it, maybe you should take the time to find out why and respect their reasons for it.

By: Colleen The Doula

Colleen The Doula — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 03:04:50 +0000

I LOVE that you wrote about this.

LOVE IT.

As a doula, and a childbirth educator, I deal with a lot of the issues moms feel ‘bullied’ about. And it’s funny that so much of our grief and shame is being cause by other women, and mothers to boot?

I think there is a point where it’s okay to discuss something with someone, and a point where your job is either to walk away with well wishes, or stand up and be supportive. I don’t know when it got to be okay for moms to be so judgmental to one another.

We all have a few causes that are sacred to us– but when did a cause become more important than basic human respect??

I spend my days supporting mothers’ decisions, regardless of whether I agree with them or not. Because they’re not my decisions, and I vow to be supportive to moms during the hard parts– funny how they’re all hard parts when other people are watching.

Thanks for the post. Needs to be said more.

By: Ghigau

Ghigau — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 18:51:18 +0000

Vincent Rose, that’s an awful lot of generalization, stereotype, and hostility.

By: Exurban Mom

Exurban Mom — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 18:37:40 +0000

I find that most of the meany moms are moms who don’t have a lot of mothering experience yet. Experience has a way of knocking you down a few pegs.

I think that, because the current generation (of moms with young kids) was raised to think they can do anything they put their minds to, this generation believes their parenting must be perfect, and believes it’s totally okay to slam others for their “imperfect” parenting. Again, having your kid reject your organic oatmeal in favor of some Froot Loops might help these moms be a little more gentle and understanding with others.

What’s most sad about it is that new motherhood is a time fraught with nerves and anxiety and sleeplessness and uncertainty, and it’s the time when a little support and love and encouragement would be most welcomed. My heart breaks for any mom who’s had that type of meanness directed at her.

By: Katherine

Katherine — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 18:12:07 +0000

I think it’s natural, unfortunately, to compare ourselves to others and make judgements… But do we all have to say every little thing we think?! Jeez!

And to Marilyn… It’s ironic, but 22 used to be considered a perfectly reasonable age to have a baby! I’m sorry people are giving you grief.

By: Marilyn

Marilyn — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:15:47 +0000

it is all so true. i am 22 years old and everybody is making me feel horrible about been pregnant at my early age. I got married at 18 and a baby at 22. I understand their anxiety about not knowing if my life would be difficult with a baby, but hey! I can handle it. Thank you for your words.

By: Ashley

Ashley — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 22:16:16 +0000

I feel like people do the same thing to dog owners! I got a puppy over the summer, and SO many people would come up to me with comments about the leash I was using, or the way I was training- and seriously, it was nice at first but after a while it got SO annoying! Mind your own business, this is MY dog.

By: Georgia

Georgia — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 17:03:56 +0000

Love this post!! I too have been on the receiving end of some criticism for decisions I’ve made with regards to my son, Jackson (13 months). I was attacked during the pregnancy for gaining too much weight and inducing labor (because the week I was due my mother would be out of the country for work, my husband was going to be in CA for work, and my doctor was going on vacation so I would have a sub!). I was chastised for only nursing for 10 days before deciding the best thing for the baby would be formula.

I think many women feel like THEIR experience and THEIR choices must be the only way to do things simply because for their particular situation it worked. Often times, and this applies to anyone, the ones who are quick to criticize and judge are the same people who are insecure about themselves or choices they have made. The key is to take all the negativity with a grain of salt and be confidant with your choices as a parent. Evey child is different, and every family is different. There is no right or wrong answer, it’s just what works best for you. People who waist their time judging you simply have nothing better to focus on in their own lives.