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The Couple Communication Quiz

How will your relationship hold up when the baby arrives? It depends on the quality of your communication.

I promise you that your relationship will face some serious challenges when the baby arrives. It’s a right of passage and no relationship, even the best relationship, gets a free pass on dealing with certain emotional, financial, sexual and time management issues. The challenges are real, but what you say, and do, to handle them is up to you.

This quiz identifies five key factors that measure the health of your relationship communication: making assumptions, resolving conflicts, being helpful versus judgmental, decision-making, and managing priorities. If any factor is weak, now is the time to work on it.

You may want to ask your partner to take this quiz independently and then compare your answers to discover whether your answers are the same. If your answers differ, don’t get angry, get information. This is your chance for a frank discussion. Find out how your partner views things and talk about how to connect better on each factor.

Please answer the following questions.

1. Your partner unexpectedly comes home an hour later than normal, you say:
A. “You should have called me”
B. “I was concerned. What happened?”
C. “I assume you have an excuse. Want to tell me it?”


2. You and your partner disagree about who should clear the table after dinner. Do you:
A. Bicker about it each time you eat dinner at home.
B. Ignore the issue and clear the table yourself because you think you’ll never reach a solution. Yet, you feel a sting of resentment.
C. Ask your partner to sit down and discuss it with you until you come up with a solution you can both live with.


3. When your partner tells you how his/her boss criticized him/her at work, you say:
A. “Why do you think your boss said that?”
B. “Your boss is out of his mind.”
C. “Well, I’m sure your boss had good reason.”


4. Without advanced notice, on Saturday afternoon your partner heads out the door to take the car in for service. It will take a few hours.
A. You are upset that your partner didn’t tell you in advance, because you didn’t have a chance to make other plans or suggest a better time.
B. You don’t care because you and your partner make separate plans for the weekend all the time.
C. You are disappointed, but instead of yelling you choose the right tme and place to have an honest and frank discussion about respecting each other's time.


5. Your partner loves to play his/her favorite sport on the weekends.
A. You assume that this will change after the baby arrives.
B. You and your partner have already discussed it and decided that the baby is a priority so he/she will only play the sport once every other weekend.
C. You are waiting until after the baby arrives to discuss it with your partner because you want to avoid the issue for as long as possible.